Friendship and STIFIn Result

I found it’s terribly hard for me to fit with all of the people, yeah all of them, believe it or not.

A bit surprise came to me when I saw the result of my STIFIn test*: Intuiting Extrovert. Am I really extrovert? For nineteen years, I’ve been thinking that I’m absolutely Introvert. I’m sure that my high school friends will say so. So how come it would be extrovert?

Anyway, i got the test and this certificate for free

Well, it’s time to confess. Last year, I made a big movement: trying to be extrovert after 18 years suffered as a nerd. I changed the way I thought about this world,changed the way I wore my clothes, I changed the way I interacted with everyone, and it surprisingly changed my life a lot, I felt much cooler. No wonder if my close friends in my colleague period thought that I was extrovert.

Back to the case, if I were extrovert, I think I shouldn’t have this feeling. In the last 2 years, I never met anyone who really has the same interest, thought, or something. In short, they don’t have any special chemistry with me. It makes me harder to find ‘the one whom I really matter in my life.’

Some days, I locked myself in my room, thinking: Why do I feel so lonely?  Don’t I have any friends? Am I born with loneliness?Sometimes, it brings the answers like: I probably deserve to be alone because of my peculiarity. No one will understand me.

It’s strange to have a feeling like you have nobody to lean on. You see, everyone have a best friend, right? Am I the only one in this world who has this feeling?

Maybe I’m tired of trusting some people. I thought they’re my best friends since they’re very nice to me, but as the time goes by, they’re out of the best friends-indication. So, I got the conclusion: it’s getting hard to find ‘the real’ best friends as you’re getting old.

I know the quotes like: If you want to have a best friend, then, be a best friend. Yeah, I’m trying, but how come I become a best friend to anyone who doesn’t fit with me?

Can help, anyone?

Anyway, Happy International Friendship's Day guys!

*) STIFIn test: A personality test taken by scanning your 10 fingerprints to consider whether you are classified as Sensing, Thinking, Feeling, or Intuiting person. Each of the classification has Introvert or Extrovert side.  A friend who study Psychology told me that STIFIn reveal our ‘given’ personality, different with MBTI which the result is possibly changed as we grow up. 

Magical and Miserable Annual Report Of 2014

Wohooo! This is the last day in 2014. We’ll soon face 2015 in the next day and I excitingly can’t hold up my self! However 2014 is such a great year for me. There’s so many changes in my life affect my personality and my perspective. So this is me telling you what I’ve done this year. Actually it’s not something big sih yaa, but for me it’s such a big thing sih haha *IndonesianEnglish. Sooo check it out!

Bikin Doujin ini dengan susah payah buat ultah my bro, Faruqi Khalid. Poor, gue salah tanggal :"D It should be Feb 23th, but i gave it in Feb 28th 

British Education Expo At Le Meridien Hotel with My Sist, Sumaya Karimah

Lagi masa-masanya passionate ngejar beasiswa study abroad nih.

My Sister's Graduation at JIExpo

Accidentaly almost in relationship with this guy. Peace Dit! ._.v

My life siginficantly changed since 'that day' :) Thanks bro!

Pelantikan PC IPM Cipondoh

Me as Sekbid Kajian Dakwah Islam

Selfie duluuu abis pelantikan

Acara Jurusan: ELD Anniv 16th Anniversary Celebration

 Abis Drama Kelas ceritanya. 2 B bawain drama Aladdin yang kocak beet. Gue cuma jadi matahari sih tapi :"""

Acara Jurusan: Gala Night ELD 2014 dengan tema "Hunter"

Fadly cs nyanyiin Smells Like Teen's Spirit-nya Nirvana. Pecaaaah!

Pas ELD Anniv gue ikutan lomba Speech

Ciee menang :") Usaha gue bolak balik perpus demi bikin materi speech ga sia-sia deh!

Break Fasting with  IPA 2

With Salman before he went to Palembang :" Botaaakk

At Japan Foundation with Ana & Uty, Pemutaran Anime-nya Makoto Shinkai

Idul Fitri with My Precious Family :*

Crazy Late Night karaoke with IPM guys after Halal Bi Halal

Gara-gara ini diceramahin dan dibilang Hedon sama senior atas, OMOO!

Wisata Kuliner Depok with Aah, Melong, Pupuy, Tiara.

Jalan-jalan ini disponsori oleh Sop Duren Lodaya & Mi Ranjang 69 

Took picture after attending invitation to @America. Foto inilah yang menjadi cikal bakal gue jadian sama Aa Ican

Nemenin bocah ini -- Sila (sama Husna) --  nyari kosan sama Abang

At Kulturfest UI with Aa Ican. 

Nemenin Abang pacaran. Aku mah apa atuh, cuma nyamuk doang. 

At Gelar Jepang UI with Fahmi, Septa, Iqo. 

Ngantrinya Panjang bangeet, ga jadi masuk deh. Dan akhirnya terdampar di Bogor.

At MetroTV, Final Eagle Awards

With Aa Ican, Fahmi, Sila, dan Aya. Dapet tiket dari Aya ceritanyaa.

Ngalay parah di XXI with Pupuy & Melong karena udah se-abad gak ketemu. Bela-belain nonton INTERSTELLAR padahal besoknya UAS :"D

Begadang Nyusun Materi Speech buat Lomba Speech MBEC di Mercu Buana.

Unfortunately, i didn't win it :" This is the first time i didn't win speech contest!

Miris. Di tahun ini baru tau gimana rasanya Mi Aceh ckck -_-

Perform Tari Ratoeh Jaroe (Saman) di Opening ASEAN Literary Festival with Ana, Nunun, Dhea, Desi.

Tahun ini pertama kalinya gue traditional dance, wew!

Nyicipin Roti Timor Leste, Nasi Lemak Malaysia, Jajanan Filipina, & Teh Thailand 

At ASEAN Literary Festival Bazaar

Jelajah ITB selesai dari Pasar Seni ITB with my sista Sumaya Karimah

A Little Surprise for Sila. This is the fisrt time i give a birthday cake hahaha. Love u siiist :*

The Crew Of Pelatihan Kader Taruna Melati 1

 Love u guuuyss :*

 With Salman before he went back to Palembang next January. Oh God! U're so messy! :D

Backsound Of The Year

Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar

John Legend - All Of Me

Paramore - The Only Exception

Ellie Goulding - Burn

Avicii - Wake Me Up

Atlas Genius - If So

Taylor Swift - Blank Space

Besties and Close Friends of The Year

Ciwi-ciwi penghuni Kafe Cangkir: Aphril, Jeanni, Dwi, Ika, Ni'mah

Cabe gals: Nia, Fanny, Diloy

Teman Seperjuangan: Aya, Ardha, Adit

Everlasting Friends, Vhies: Aah, Mella, Pupuy, Tiara, Nana

My Beloved Cousins: Khalid, Sila, Husna

Terong guys: Fahmi & Ka Aji (Aa Ican) + Salman, Kahfi, Ka Rian

Dan nama-nama lain yang ga bisa gue sebuti satu-satu haha. Thanks guuys, u color up my life in this year! *hug*

Well, that's all my Annual Report! Banyak hal yang kurang penting sih, tapi menurut gue itu memorable jadi gue tetep cantumin deh hehe. See ya in the next annual report! *cheers*

Postingan yang udah expired tapi sayang kalo ga di-post

I guess it was July when i wrote it. I let it saved for some months, because at first, i wanted to add some words, but i didn't have any idea until July turn August, September, and October. Exactly, i don't think it's the right time for me to post it, but at least it's better than just keep this 'superb' daily report in my folder and no one read.

July, still in the atmosphere of Lebaran.

I think I’m trapped in my small private room and let my self sleep during the day and night, just to avoid some creatures whom my mom call them as ‘relatives’.

                Actually I’m not kinda anti-social, instead I always try to interact to almost all the people well. But it’s a bit different about them. Sometimes I wondering why should I go out from my room and give the sweetest smile to the people who don’t have a business with me but yeah we have the same blood run in our vein. Ok, you can judge me selfish.

                So I prefer to lock my self in my room, watching movies, and let my body fall into the bed and have a deep slumber. I think it’ll be better than sit in front of ‘them’ and hope this awkward moment end. But you know what? There’s always a bit guilt in my heart when I know all I did was wrong. I know it was wrong, but what can I do?

                When I was around them, try to listen to whatever they talking about and laugh with them, they never notice me until someone say ‘Sini, ca!’ Ca? you should have been mistaken! It’s my sister, I’m Isma. Ok, I know that I’m not  as popular as my sisters, and actually I used to be like this. So I just shut up my mouth and prefer to be invisible.

That's all. Maybe after read this post you'll think that: You'd better not post this. But i wanna post something this month, sooooo what i'm doing is just keep posting!

Story of My Life: Being Socially Accepted

Ya, I’m trying to chill out about my world – not to be too serious – because I just wanna prove the people around me that I’m a human who can laugh and belong to live in this country, just same with them. I’m also trying to be awesome because I know that one of a kind way which the people respect us. And i think it’s normal.

                This midnight, I’ve just stalked some great women who inspire me and remind me ‘bout my self in the past. I know if some things didn’t occur in my life, and if some intentions weren’t stuck in my mind, I should have been so great right now and so nerd. But I didn’t want to be nerd and don’t want to, so I changed my mind and a lot of my character, I think.

                When I was a ‘know-it-all’ junior high school student, I really didn’t understand why most of the people wore their uniform in the same way, carried the same bag that they think it’s cool, and bought the same gadget. In a short way, they follow the trend. Why did they think it’s cool? I mean the people with the same face, it’s so nasty!  At that time, I truly prefered to be my self, though it made me more looked like a weird girl. When the people wore their ‘trendy’ skinny jeans, I wore my loose jeans.

                All I chased was being an extraordinary girl. I spent all the years in junior high school and senior high school just to be smarter and smarter. Just did all the things that I thought will be beneficial for my future like  joined any kind of competitions I heard from my schoolmate. I really didn’t care ‘bout what most of all the people in my age were doing, such as hang out, having cool stuffs, update their daily lives in social media, watching ‘booming’ movie, etc. I didn’t give a damn about it because I thought it wouldn’t make me being a successful girl.

                But, when I grew older, I learned more about ‘how to be accepted in social life.’ I knew that it’s not good to be different at all. The people won’t understand your difference. So, I tried to be mainstream, I mean, to be same with the people around me. I try to do the same way of thinking, acting, and speaking. At that time I concluded that if the people can’t understand me, It’s my obligation to understand them.

At first, I thought it's enough to be mainstream, but one day I knew that it's also important to be awesome.  Actually I really learned about it when I was in the college. I’m not so sure where it begin, but I think I have a great intention to be awesome since my ex ‘disgustingly’ laughed at my ‘alay’ photos in my notebook. With a lot of anger, I know that I have to be awesome and show him one day that I’m not a girl whom he’s ever laughed at anymore.

But, all the efforts I’ve been doing to be ‘accepted’ made my focus on some academic things divided. It feels like I step back to be equal with the people around me. I don’t mean to say that they, the people’s intelligence,  are under my intelligence. No, no. But when I prefer to be equal with them, it means that I should reduce the level of my weirdness and peculiarity.

Besides, my intention to be awesome also made my intention ‘bout ‘taking a flight to England’ replaced. I know it shouldn’t be like that if only my England intention stayed in my mind firmly. But I tell ya, being awesome and studying in England seem so contradictive. Mm, I mean when I stay awake at the midnight to study material for preparation test to study Abroad, I feel so nerd. And I just don’t wanna look back and do all the things I’ve ever done when I was nerd because I think it’ll turn me back to be nerd.

So, all I can do right now is make sure that I’m not nerd at all. After that, it’s a must to live my dreams, including study Abroad. I don’t wanna blame my self about ‘step back’. I know It’s the right choice or maybe it’s the best way.

That’s all. Sorry if my ‘disarranged’ explaination is confusing. LOL.

Edisi Lawas: Tentang Lima Sekawan (The Famous Five)

Yosh, Gue mulai ngerasa nerd ketika ngebahas sesuatu yang agak lawas. Hal ini dikarenakan dulu ketika masih nerd, gue suka baca buku-buku lawas dan dengerin  lagu-lagu lawas. Dan ketika gue menyadari hal itu, gue mulai berpikir bahwa gue tidak seharusnya hidup di abad ke 21 sebagai seorang ‘remaja’. However, gue bakal tetep mosting ini karena menurut gue nih novel asyik banget, sumpah!

                Lima sekawan. Bagi gue ini adalah novel yang sangat menginspirasi gue buat bercita-cita hijrah ke Inggris. Dulu, ketika gue masih SD, gue suka berimajinasi gimana kalo seandainya gue berpetualang ke desa-desa di Inggris, menangkap pencuri dan penjahat, seperti Lima Sekawan ini. Itu pasti akan keren banget! Tapi akhirnya gue tersadar akan kondisi ekonomi keluarga gue yang bahkan tidak memungkinkan buat wisata ke luar kota. Jadilah gue pendam mimpi-mimpi itu sampai sekarang. Jadi curcol -_-

                Novel karya Enid Blyton ini bergenre misteri-petualangan dan bersetting Inggris tahun 40an. Lima Sekawan adalah kumpulan 5 orang (dan anjing) yang berkawan. 4 Dari mereka adalah Julian, Dick, dan Anne yang merupakan saudara kandung, dan sepupu mereka, Georgina yang super tomboy. Georgina ini lebih suka dipanggil George –  karena menurutnya nama itu lebih macho. Satu anggota lagi adalah Timmy, anjingnya George yang (kadang) berguna.

Kanan-kiri: Anne, George, Julian, Dick, Timmy

                Jadi Lima Sekawan ini kerjanya suka melancong saat libur sekolah. Berkemah ke gunung, pantai, kastil, pulau terpencil, dan tempat-tempat seru lain yang menurut gue terlalu ‘cetar’ buat anak-anak seumuran mereka.  Tapi tanpa disengaja, mereka selalu nemuin kasus-kasus kriminal saat mereka berlibur. Sebagai anak-anak kecil yang passionate, mereka pun sangat ‘bergairah’ untuk melakukan penyelidikan —tak jarang membawa mereka ke zona bahaya.

                Di seri pertama, mereka melancong ke pulau Kirrin, pulau milik keluarganya George, dan menemukan harta karun. Pulau ini digambarkan sangat sangat luar biasa mengasyikan – reruntuhan kastil abad ke-18 menjadi daya tarik pulau terpencil ini, udaranya sejuk dan pantainya pun masih asri. Berlibur di pulau ini adalah dambaan semua anak-anak, terutama yang freak. Selain itu banyak hal-hal seru terjadi di seri-seri selanjutnya.

Kanan: Cover terbaru, kiri: cover cetakan tahun 2006.

 Entah mengapa gue lebih suka cover lamanya.

                Gue dulu punya beberapa seri-nya, tapi karena gue terlalu baik hati dan meminjamkannya ke temen-temen gue, yang tersisa kini hanyalah 3 seri, hiks banget. Ketiga seri itu kadang masih suka gue baca, dan kadang gue terhanyut lagi sama setting-nya yang bikin jiwa gue seolah berada di Inggris tahun 40an.

                Pas SMA gue mulai browsing lagi tentang Lima Sekawan, dan gue nemuin sesuatu yang bikin mata gue terbelalak. Ternyata Lima Sekawan hadir juga dalam TV series! TV series dengan judul The Famous Five ini mulai beredar sekitar tahun 1978-79, dan kemudian di-remake pada tahun 1995. Selain itu Disney juga  menggarap animasi tentang petualangan ‘anak-anaknya’ Lima Sekawan berjudul Famous Five: On The Case pada tahun 2008. Ini membuktikan bahwa Lima Sekawan memang sungguh sangaaat everlasting!

TV series versi 1978-nya

TV series versi 1995-nya

Versi animated TV series 2008

                Sekian dulu dari gue. Gue cukup berharap anak-anak Indonesia masa kini masih menggemari novel-novel  karya Enid Blyton, seperti Sapta Siaga, Pasukan Mau Tahu, dan khususnya Lima Sekawan. Karena kalo boleh sok bijak, menurut gue dengan bacaan-bacaan seperti itulah seharusnya mereka dibesarkan.