Friendship and STIFIn Result

I found it’s terribly hard for me to fit with all of the people, yeah all of them, believe it or not.

A bit surprise came to me when I saw the result of my STIFIn test*: Intuiting Extrovert. Am I really extrovert? For nineteen years, I’ve been thinking that I’m absolutely Introvert. I’m sure that my high school friends will say so. So how come it would be extrovert?

Anyway, i got the test and this certificate for free

Well, it’s time to confess. Last year, I made a big movement: trying to be extrovert after 18 years suffered as a nerd. I changed the way I thought about this world,changed the way I wore my clothes, I changed the way I interacted with everyone, and it surprisingly changed my life a lot, I felt much cooler. No wonder if my close friends in my colleague period thought that I was extrovert.

Back to the case, if I were extrovert, I think I shouldn’t have this feeling. In the last 2 years, I never met anyone who really has the same interest, thought, or something. In short, they don’t have any special chemistry with me. It makes me harder to find ‘the one whom I really matter in my life.’

Some days, I locked myself in my room, thinking: Why do I feel so lonely?  Don’t I have any friends? Am I born with loneliness?Sometimes, it brings the answers like: I probably deserve to be alone because of my peculiarity. No one will understand me.

It’s strange to have a feeling like you have nobody to lean on. You see, everyone have a best friend, right? Am I the only one in this world who has this feeling?

Maybe I’m tired of trusting some people. I thought they’re my best friends since they’re very nice to me, but as the time goes by, they’re out of the best friends-indication. So, I got the conclusion: it’s getting hard to find ‘the real’ best friends as you’re getting old.

I know the quotes like: If you want to have a best friend, then, be a best friend. Yeah, I’m trying, but how come I become a best friend to anyone who doesn’t fit with me?

Can help, anyone?

Anyway, Happy International Friendship's Day guys!

*) STIFIn test: A personality test taken by scanning your 10 fingerprints to consider whether you are classified as Sensing, Thinking, Feeling, or Intuiting person. Each of the classification has Introvert or Extrovert side.  A friend who study Psychology told me that STIFIn reveal our ‘given’ personality, different with MBTI which the result is possibly changed as we grow up.